Regression, or A Pair Of Trousers.

Chapter 1.
Engaged.


Henry was savouring the rare calm ritual of morning coffee before leaving for work. Jane was at the toaster, a slow raiser.

Ernesto's heavy tread preceded his appearance at the kitchen door. An unfamiliar spark of light glared on Jane's right hand.

- "So you finally found the guts to propose, you dog. I was starting to think you'll leave it for your last will. Congrats, mate!".

- "It's good to think things twice. I made my mind a long time ago. I was only worried about the timing. I'm the luckiest guy you'd ever hope to meet."

Ernesto settled down to another coffee, whilst Jane was attacking her muesli and toast with her usual gusto.

- "I believe it's for you to tell how it happened, Janey", said Henry.

- "It was a pleasant night out, but what he said... I'm used to all the usual things you hear about your eyes by dribbling idiots checking out your cleavage..."

- "Go on...", said Ernesto.

- "Henry said he first fell in love with me... when I was helping him move in. He cooked for me that day and I asked for seconds. That was the moment, he said. He then got on his knee and asked if I would like Chez Henry for many years to come, as the guest of honour..."

- "I don't know whether I'm gonna swoon or be sick. That's gotta be the corniest thing I ever heard. You the man, Hank!"

- "I better hurry, or I'll be late."

With a kiss to her, he vanished into the day.


Chapter 2.
Working day.

Henry could not settle into his daily work as usual. He felt the familiar tightness on his chest as he kept replaying the previous night in his mind.

He could not believe his luck. He left Jane behind with the old neighbourhood, as he moved away to study. He had actually settled in Leeds.

He finally returned, as he finished with Linda. His parents had been complaining for seven years already.

And he met Jane. Mark's little sister. Little no longer...

At that thought, the familiar urge to call, and the butterflies came to join the tightness in his chest.

- "Are you ok?", asked Gwen from the next cubicle. "You don't look quite yourself".

- "I might be coming down with something, I think I'll ask old man Holmes to let me go today"

- "You do that, and ask Janey to have some mercy on you, you know."


Chapter 3.
Epiphany.


With a pounding headache, Henry walked into the flat. The shower was running in the bathroom.

There was something behind the door, blocking it. With a sinking feeling, he realised they were Ernesto's trousers, with the familiar belt buckle hanging in front. His wallet still inside the back pocket.

Movement in the edge of his vision made him turn. Not an spectral apparition, though Ernesto's towel-clad suddenness increased his growing feeling of unreality.

- "So that's where I left them. I hope you don't mind, but I came to borrow some of your after shave, since it seems to work for you. I better run, see you later, bro."

As Ernesto
(dog)
picked his trousers from the floor,
(dude)
Henry noticed a pair of socks
(bro)
and underwear
(gotta run)
sliding off the trousers cuffs.

He sat on the bed, stupefact. Cogitating (dog). What was he doing (dude) undressing in his (bro) room? He must have been (gotta run) in a real rush.


Chapter 4.
Rules of disengagement.


Jane let herself in, juggling grocery bags, purse and keys. In the kitchen, Henry sat at the table, vacant, staring at the pattern of the cloth as if on the verge of revelation and enlightenment.

- "How long has this been going on?"

- "Honey, are you all right? You seem.."

- "Ernesto. And you. How. Long. HAs. THIs. BEEN. GOING. ON?"

- "I don't know what..."

- "Spare me the bullshit. How long have you kept your... options open with Ernesto?". He got up from the chair with premeditation, a glint in his eye almost a match for the stone on her right hand.


Chapter 5.
Mother.


Julie was at the printer, collecting her latest piece. Her mobile vibrated inside the trousers pocket. Sure it was another 'no win, no fee' call; bemusement gave way to dread. Why was Jane calling in the middle of her working day?

- "Hi..."

- "...COME...HENRY...GONE MAD...HE MIGHT GET HURT".

click.


Chapter 6.
Countdown.

Julie saw the crowd near her son's block. She pulled up and commenced to run.

In the throng, an impossibly younger-looking version of Henry was grappling with Jane. He seemed slimmer, almost gangly.

- "MINE, BITCH! GIVE IT BACK, YOU WHORE!"

With mounting horror, Julie realised her son was trying to rip Jane's engagement ring off her finger.

- "You're hurting me, stop it!".

With each passing second, Henry seemed to be losing substance, his shirt sagging, his stubble long gone. His trousers' cuff dragging on the pavement. His voice shrill, screaming like a banshee.

She finally let go of it. She was no longer looking at a man. Facing her, was a boy. A boy of about seven, clothes hanging from his pre-puberal frame.

- "Keep it! I don't want to hear from you for the rest of my life!".


Chapter 7.
Resumption.

Julie approached the forlorn child sat on the kerb, crying with the ring in his hand. She put a hand on that once-familiar small shoulder.

An initial feeling of pity was stifled by a grim feeling of determination. She would comfort... and he would learn. He'd have to.

- "Get up, Henry. This is sad. It's back to school with you tomorrow morning."



High Wycombe, 16/07/2013