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Sense of urgency.

With the vehemence of a fifteen year old tugging my chest, and the brain of someone who knows we only have one shot at this thing called life, how could it be otherwise?

And the pain, the gut-wrenching pain. Pain, many types I've seen. It's, after all, my bread and butter.

-The feeling of oppression on the chest, as though an elephant decided to sit there. Acute MI, or deep anxiety, that pain is an old friend of mine.
-The sharp splinter pain, when there is something broken.
- The deep, all-encompassing visceral pain. Something is very wrong, and you need help, fast.
- The burning neuralgia, maddening. Nerves inflamed from feeling too much, then replaced by the freezing cold (apparent relief) which marks the death of that particular pathway. The nerve may recover. I know.
- The raging throb of infection festering. It might kill.
- The mild persistent itchy ache of a bone healing. It tells you how far you can work that day, but it is a good sign.

Pain is a warning and a guide. I listen to it every day. Mine and others'. Pain is not something that will "go away". Without treating the root cause, it will remain and spread.

Am I your pain? I'd hate to think that I am. I'd love to think that I am, for there might be hope after all. Hope is almost as stubborn as reality. Sometimes they come and play together.

Clear as anything, I might be wrong, but I don't guild the lily.

Am I your pain? What type? Do you think that killing a nerve to get rid of the pain is the way forward? To feel that frost which might never leave?

I'll welcome any friend you might bring, if you do come.

Face your pain and heal. It hurts to see you so. My pain is the lack of you, the loss of you. If that's what hurts you, then come and see that I stand, that I'll live. My pain is to imagine you hurting, unable to do a thing, other than this.

I'll deal with my pain, do not worry about me, my dearest. But it all goes through you, and what you decide.

Please don't hate me for saying this. I'm saying it as I see it, and you once respected and listened to my opinions.