First Book of Unicorn: Hoofesis. Chapter 2.

Of Maturin and the advent of Evil.

1 And thus, as disposed by the Almighty Unicorn (hallowed be His Unspoken Name), the grass grew lush and green, generation of beast followed generation of beast and all were content, the gods in the sky, and all living things upon earth, under water, or floating on the heavens.
2 All but Maturin, the turtle. He had been granted special favour from The Sacred Unicorn (blessed be the track of His hooves), and was free to roam through all the minor gods' territories.
3 He had a problem with the grass, for it was a cause of unbearable testicular itch and tickles. In the silence of his heart, he began to curse the greenness of the Earth.
4 It was so, that he attended the nightly meeting at Valhalla, whereupon Odin and his brethren feasted.
5 Upon arriving, he descried the usual gathering, besides the old party tricks. Jehovah was (yet again) turning water into wine.
6 There were the usual cries of derision: "When wilt thou learn to do that for beer?" Thor used to yell, whist calling for yet another one.
7 Approaching the table, the guiling Maturin said: "Surely you would have gotten tired of this boring old game by now. I have one better."
8 "Pray tell", said the gathering in unison, for we grow weary of our idleness.
9 "We could play football with this meteor", said Maturin innocently.
10 Forth they went, the vast echoes of the gods' glee resonating in the vastness of the space between planets.
11 Hermes, with his proverbial speed, carried out a fastbreak, passing the meteor to Panchanana, who (by virtue of his five heads) scored a tremendous goal, smashing the meteor into Earth.
12 A ball of flames and giant waves upon the face of the sea cut a great swathe of destruction far and wide.
13. By the time the dust settled, a great portion of the majestic beasts which dwelt upon the greenness were now so much cooked meat amid the wasteland resulting.
14 All the gods turned to Maturin in anger, holding him to blame for the devastation and in fear of being found derelict in their stewardship.
15 "Look not at me as a culprit", said Maturin in his reasonable voice.
16 "For it was all of you who, using your own free will, engaged in the match."
17 "Furthermore, should you have placed Durga Ma as a goalie, surely she would had saved that goal shot with her ten arms."
18 That said, Maturin returned to roam the Earth, now grass-free.

http://snipinglemur.blogspot.co.uk/2014/04/first-book-of-unicorn-hoofesis-chapter-2.html?m=1